Please...just shower!

To many, travel is a tool for self-discovery, finding your purpose in this world, getting to know yourself after a crushing relationship, figuring out what the hell to do with your life after your “five year plan” has come to an end. And it seems I’m no different. However, rather than discovering my true calling or my soul mate, I’m discovering more and more about hygienic habits with each passing country. My first lesson was in Morocco (please refer to “Shower With Your Pans On,” DATE). In Thailand, however, my bathing self-awareness was a bit more poignant and pungent.

I have been attending this yoga class quite regularly for the past couple of months and take a certain amount o pride in the fact that I am the only “farang” (white foreigner) in a class of about 20 Thai women. I think this sense of pride comes from the fact that many expats like to think they’ve crossed cultural barriers, broken down their foreignness into something that appears “local”…especially to the locals themselves, but that’s for another entry. Actually, I really enjoy the class. Not only for it’s physical benefits, but thus far it is the only Thai I know with any amount of certainty. I can now confidently say “in and out” and “other side” and “breathe” in almost perfect Thai! But these minor feats are nothing compared to how this class has helped me along my way down a path of self-discovery.

So one day, I go to class and the only lady who has pretty good English hurriedly approaches me and requests that I meet her in the bathroom. I politely oblige to this simple request, but then got a sudden sense of urgency as I passed the yoga instructor excitedly waving me in to the bathroom. What could all this excitement be about? Did someone need a tampon or an extra pair of hands to assist them in pulling on their skin-tight spandex? Or maybe they just wanted to compliment me on my insane flexibility and shear strength. Okay, it was probably the tampon, but I soon discovered that I was wrong on all accounts. So once I was successfully ushered into the restroom alone with Dao (the English speaker) everything became quite clear…

Dao: So….(nervous laugh)…..sometimes before we do yoga….we like to shower.

Me: (perplexed)

Dao: (Nervous laugh continued and actually kept going for the entirety of this conversation. So, I’ll spare you the repetition and let you insert it at your leisure for the remainder of this dialogue) Well, I mean….it’s just nice to be clean before yoga.

Me: (Light bulb flickers) Oh! Oh my god….do I smell?

Dao: Well, there have been some complaints…

Me: (Now, I’m the one nervously laughing) Oh my god, I am so so sorry….I….of course I’ll shower….but I don’t have a towel.

Dao: Oh….no problem. We have everything ready (as she motions to a chair with a neatly folded bath towel, topped with shampoo, soap, deodorant, and baby powder—the Thais love their powder).

Me: Oh. Well, it looks like you’ve really thought this through.

Dao: Well, we have been discussing it for a couple of weeks now and I just decided, ya know what, I’m gonna do this today.

Me: Uh…thank you…I really appreciate it.

So, I showered and believe you me…I showered like I’ve never showered before. The brilo pads from the hammam had nothin’ on the ferocity with which I was scrubbing my epidermis. After my full body sanitation, I went to the changing room and began putting my yoga clothes back on. Well, Dao had other plans. She presented me with a “gift” from the entire class consisting of a little pink and black sports bra and spandex to match. Now let me remind you, that I would normally not be caught dead in such a fashionable workout ensemble, but I had been enjoying this yoga class so much that I relinquished all wardrobe boundaries and slipped into the color coordinated clothing.

Once I finished powdering every crevice of my body, applying my new stick of deodorant, and dressing up for yoga, it was time to get to class and exercise. Now mind you, class usually begins promptly at 6PM, however all 20 women or so had been ever so kind to wait for me to finish my bathing bonanza to begin. So at 6:15, I entered a room full of patiently waiting Thai ladies seated in lotus position, and I got the sudden feeling of being on one of those makeover stories on the Lifetime channel, making my grand entrance. This feeling was only accentuated when my fellow yogis turned to evaluate the fruit of their labors and greeted me with broad smiles and about 40 thumbs up. Their work was a success! The smelly, foreign, hippie had been transformed into a jasmine smelling, powdered-faced, dress to impress bathing butterfly. All I needed to do was….just shower.