I miss the snow down in Africa . . .

After a month of vacation, I returned to Ifrane late at night. When I woke in the morning, this is what I saw from my bedroom window.

Monkey Business

So, I decided that after my trip to the Azores and on my way back to Morocco, I would visit yet another island . . . Gibraltar. Now if I could describe the rock in four words/phrases, they would have to be: Fish n' Chips, expensive, theme parkish, and cheeto-eating monkeys. I decided to hike up the rock to see these famous Gibraltar Barbary Macaque monkeys. It is still uncertain how these tailless creatures came to Gibraltar, either from the Moors some hundred years ago or possibly more than a million years ago. Either way, the people of Gibraltar believe that if the monkey population begins to dwindle, that Britain will lose political control over the rock. So, whenever monkeys seem to be "scarce", Girbraltar has a few sex mongers shipped over from Morocco. Ahhh Morocco, known for just more than exporting phosphate and hash, but horny "apes" as well. Anyway, back to my hike. So, I'm walking up the rock, which I have to say had some breathtaking views of both Europe and Africa, when I see a monkey jauntily crossing the road. I quietly have an internal celebration thinking to myself "wow, I lived in Costa Rica for 2 years and didn't see a monkey until about 3 months before I left. Now I come to Gibraltar and see one within hours. I must be monkey lucky in 2008!" Well, the balloons in my little auto-party were soon deflated when I turned the corner and saw two tours buses and about 30 tourists taking pictures of the "Rock Apes" entertaining them as if we were at a circus. These guys were pulling out all the stops, doing everything from steeling a little boy's bag of chips (which he wholly deserved, by the way) to fornicating with their babies hanging off their backs. Now, tell me if you've ever seen that in a circus or on Animal Planet. It was a strange scene and I have to admit that I immediately wanted to leave, but not before capturing true love. Yes, can any happily married couple or disgustingly in love pair tell me that they would do the above for their partner? I think not.

All I want for Christmas is a mesa natal...

So as many of you may know, I spent the holidays on the Azores off the coast of Portugal. I went into a bit of a bovine shock when I found myself on the lush green island of Terceira, surrounded by well-fed, gigantic cows. I mean, they made Moroccan cattle look like anorexic Olsen twins gnawing on rocky clumps of dirt and dust. And, like the Azorian cows, the people sure knew how to meet their nutritional needs. The Portuguese have a tradition of setting up La Mesa Natal (the Christmas table), a doily-decorated dining table, covered in a variety of cakes, pies, cookies, and candies and adorned with the best liquor the family has to offer. This table is set on Christmas Eve and remains set until New Years Day. Eight days of passing from house to house, gorging on sweets and gulping down port and whiskey. Need I say more? Even the Olsen twins would have gained a pound or two.